Inhibited Sexual Desire

Alternative names:

hypoactive sexual desire; sexual apathy; sexual aversion

Treatment:

Treatment must be individualized to the factors that may be inhibiting sexual interest. Often, there may be several such factors. Some couples will need relationship enhancement work or marital therapy prior to focusing directly on enhancing sexual activity. Declining sex is sometimes one of the few areas where someone who feels dominated in most other areas of a marriage may still exert control. Some couples will need to be taught skills in conflict resolution and be helped to work through differences in nonsexual areas. Communication training in talking on a feeling level, showing empathic understanding, resolving differences in a manner that reflects sensitivity and respect for the feelings of both parties, learning how to express anger constructively, and reserving time for couple activities, affection and talking all tend to encourage sexual desire. Many couples will also need direct focus on the sexual relationship wherein through education and couple assignments they expand the variety and time devoted to sexual activity. Some couples will also need to focus on how they may sexually approach their partner in more interesting and desirable ways, and in how to more gently and tactfully decline a sexual invitation. When problems with sexual arousal or performance are factors in decreasing libido, these sexual dysfunctions will need to be directly addressed.

Expectations (prognosis):

Disorders of sexual desire are often among the more difficult sexual problems to treat, and seem to be especially more challenging to treat in men. Consequently, referral should be sought to a specialist in sex and marital therapy. Success rates generally seem to be in the range of 50 to 65%.

Complications:

When both partners have low sexual desire, the issue of sexual interest level will not be problematic in the relationship. Low sexual desire, however, may be a barometer of the emotional health of the relationship. In other cases where there is an excellent and loving relationship, low sexual desire may cause a partner to repeatedly feel hurt and rejected, leading to eventual feelings of resentment and promoting eventual emotional distance. Sex is something that, for most couples, either bonds their relationship closer together, or something that becomes a wedge that gradually drives them apart. When one partner is significantly less interested in sex than their companion, and this has become a source of conflict and friction, it is recommended that professional help is needed before the relationship becomes further strained.